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And his third girl friend so far. People that I know have told them that they have seen him out at bars with her. Pre trial is may Three days after my son graduates from college.
Some of his excuses for their EA were: I was interested in her life now, I was curious about what happened to her, and her family was an important part of my life they were in his life for a 1.
The craziest thing about this is my first love shows up about every couple of years to say hello to my Mom. He started this the year after he dumped me 28 yrs ago.
I have no hard feelings, we were very young. One time I sarcastically asked my H if he thought his hair was going to grow back, pounds would drop off while bad 80s music was playing when he reconnected with her.
It seems that these assholes all took a class on how to have an affair. Are there any good men left?? The two you have raised.
My husband is an alcoholic and that lead to some pretty serious issues. I have since moved out and am living with my parents but have been seeing my high school sweetheart.
Even if we worked it out, idk how I could go on in the marriage lying about that. Please no hate. I think you should be honest with both guys.
If you would like children, you may want to run now while you can. Only you know what is in your heart. I can only tell you from experience.
You are very young and forever is a long time to be unhappy! Hi Emma. My heart goes out to you as you might be in a no-win situation.
I married at 21 and it took 10 years of what I thought was a good time to notice there was something amiss. He was successful starter-upper in the then new computer language coding field.
The something was he was a secret alcoholic more like I was a secret stupid. I was too immature to know what to do and expected him to be my rock.
I cajoled, threatened, moved out, moved back for the next 12 years. We divorced. For some reason I thought he might come around and love me enough to magically get over the alcoholism.
He died in at the age of 44, not even a year after we were divorced. It seems crazy to me that he would cast aside what we have shared over 26 years together for someone he dated for a few years when he was a teenager.
They broke up because she cheated on him yet still he easily forgot all of this and too easily became caught up in this relationship with her.
Even 2 years after DD I wonder if we will be able to work through my doubts about him and the future of our relationship so that we can have a better marriage.
He seems to get it, he does all the right things and is trying to support me. I feel like the damage is done. I agree with Rachel, how could I ever compete with some bullshit fantasy.
I got very little, if any support from her. She actually did all the wrong things…at every turn. I think perhaps I could have got over the cheating itself but what she did after I found out, the continued lying, blame-shifting and lack of remorse was just insurmountable…too much damage.
I knew I could respect or trust her again. The childish fantasy and re-connection lead to sneaking around behind the spouses backs to see each other.
It is just like teenagers sneaking around their parents backs. The spouses become the authority figures in their immature minds except the damage they do to their spouses, children and families is real.
They were soul-mates and believed they belonged together. The fog has lifted but after all this time I would like a fantasy life! I want one too.
Not only did this affair happen to me but other devastating life experiences all at the same time. My ExH also left me for his HS GF…after a 2 year long distance EA, he left to pursue her…We were married 24 years…they knew each other for 4 months at the age of 17…total nonsense…they are now living together.
Our divorce is final now…took 4 years since the date he left us. The OW left her H too, after 26 years of marriage. Utterly ridiculous.
Neither have a moral compass. Is it a safe person? What is it about these long ago relationships that draw them in? My H expressed how sad and sorry he was that his OW had turned out so lousy.
He still feels extremely sorry that she has made such a mess of her life. My H did this. Went and searched for his collge girlfriend on Facebook.
Found her, and there were just some things he had to say to her about how things ended between them. This transitioned into him calling her on her way to work every morning and on her lunch break every day.
Her Facebook profile picture is the one she had her teenage daughter take for him. I still want vomit most of the time when I think about it.
Yes but you are lucky since it sounds like you still have your marriage and a chance at recovery. Being divorced over something like this is no victory.
I would have preferred to save my marriage than find myself here after 24 years of being married. Such utter nonsense. Oh, and did I forget to mention she had a miscarriage when they were together?
Oh, and every woman he ever slept with, he connected with on Facebook and made sure to keep in touch. I try to be a trusting, understanding wife, but after the college tramp, his Facebook account is no more, and I am still thinking about just sending copies of my phone bills to her husband.
That should make life interesting. I divorced my H because he refused to stop and come home. It has a stronghold on him.
The best and only thing I can do is surrender it all to God. I had depleted myself — I was emotionally and financially bankrupt and am rebuilding my life.
Doug, thanks for that. I just cannot imagine putting another adult man before my family. When I found out about my H I was shocked because the OW is so mumsie, slightly older than him and overweight, which is different to his usual type.
I understand that our relationship was in a rut, but surely attraction must come into it. They were like best friends at work for a couple of years first.
Sounds to me like they all say and behave exactly the same way. When I said it sounds like the most common thing in the world, he was angry.
Of course now, I think he knows that contacting the old high school girlfriend through social networking, reliving your youth, arranging to meet at the mall you hung out together at as kids….
I read their correspondence. Take my advisem shower your wife with all the love you can muster and forget about the past.